COOOL ONE LINERS

• "A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."


• "Take my advice.... I dont use it anyways....."


• "I must confess, I was born at a very early age."


• "Work, yeah I tried that once. Worst 7 minutes of my life."


• " Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."
• "Death is hereditary."
• "I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
• "Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking."
• "They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance."
• "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."
• "Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
• "When you're right, no one remembers."
• " When you're wrong, no one forgets.Cheer up, the worst is yet to come."
• "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."